I like pickles in the morning, I like pickles at night. I like pickles in the air and I like pickles in the ground. Pickels are everywhere, and I am everywhere. Therefore, I am pickles. All of the pickle worshipers bow down to me. They scream "Pickle REEEEEE", and ask for my szechuan sauce. One day, the leader of the tomato clan came to me. I was at war with him, and I was gracefully destroying his armys to the west. With him, came a peace treaty. As it stated, he requested that I would spare his men in return for his own life. I crossed my fingers, and agreed to his promise. Next day on the gallows, I used a machete to chop his head off. Next, I became Ghandi and used a nuke on his armies. I mixed the blood of his men with his, and created the origional szechuan sauce. I sold my invention to Micky Dees for 10 billion dollars, and watched in horror as they discontinued the delicious blood.

Over the past few years I have been in desperate need of the glorious szechuan sauce. Because of my past mistakes, I had sold the secret blood recipie of the tomato leader to Mc Donalds. I belive that I can use my fame to create once again a pickle uprising and inspire the people to revolt agaist the capitalists inside of Mc Donalds. I read the communist manifesto, and I belive that I would be the best gulag creator. My homie Stalin has greatly helped me in my quest to take over the world. We will be waging our 15th world war against Ronald Mcdonald himself, and this time it will be much harder. Becuase of the advancements in technology over the fast 15 years, we are unable to use our nuclear weapons against them anymore. This war will be won with bloodshed and sacrifices. Although it will cause me great pain, I will have to spare no cost in fighting this war. One of my favorite new technologys of the era is the VRMMO headsets. They will make you feel like you are playing a videogame, while in reality you are fighting in a war. Our top figher, Kirito, has been inside of the headset for approximately 8 months now. He has killed millions of capitalists so far. When we win this war- not if, when- I will put all of the capitalists inside of gulags, and we will have bread to eat at every dinner. We will cure the coronavirus using the leftover buger patties that we steal from the remaining Mc Donalds that we do not blow up, and once again take back the szechuan sauce recipie. We will use the blood of the capitalists that we farm inside of our gulags to create this new form of szechuan sauce, and improive on the recipie tenthfold.